Peeping Tom or: How I Learned to Stop Streaming and Love the Binoculars

People often talk about the “dangers of technology” and how the ever-advancing forms of science, knowledge, and machinery will ultimately doom modern-day society, our youth, and future generations. As an incredibly relevant, yet highly negligible example, please examine the accompanying screenshots, which illustrate how the latest version of Microsoft Word for Mac is dangerous beyond its own competence.

Obviously, this hyphenated or not-hyphenated (not to baby you, but… ironic, right?) dilemma isn’t a huge deal, but, rather, it’s something I needed to point out to further substantiate my point.  And, I fucking love hyphens, so I obviously had to keep “ever-advancing” hy-phen-ated.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that online pornography is incredibly damaging to society and our youth.

No, I don’t think pornography is degrading.  No, I don’t think it promotes abnormal and dangerous sexual behavior.  And, no, I don’t think it represents and encourages misjudgments of morality.

I do, however, think it makes its viewers selfish, lazy, and unmotivated.  In some way or another, you may already agree with this declaration, but allow me to really drive this one home and describe the matter so thoroughly that after you’ve finished reading this article, you’ll be ready to lead a group of mindless picketers through busy city streets screaming for an end of the online distribution of pornography… that is, strictly for the sake of protecting peoples’ sexual creativity and inventiveness, not because of any reasons such as immorality, degradation, or some other nonsense.

Alright, so, let’s dig deeper… Continue reading

Advertisements

Hipster-Professionals, Google’s “Project Glass,” and Monsieur Gayno

I’ve spoken personally to nearly all of the hundreds of thousands of you so I know that we are all on the same page on this one…

We don’t like this guy.

Not even a little bit.

But that’s not really my intention in writing this. I write to confess my more intensified disapproval of guys like this:

This guy is just one example of the many conceited, moderately-eco-educated, self-identifying intellects who, when out in adult-type social settings, take delight in breaking eye-contact with their average, “throw-away” dates just to sip on their pomegranate sangrias, as they look down at their outfits and mistakenly admire the style of whoever designed Urban Outfitter’s latest catalogue as that of their own.

This is the same guy who gets off to telling people that he works in a very competitive, creative industry.  The same guy who can’t contain himself as the Whole Foods cashier rings up his groceries, because he knows that as soon as he gets outside he can watch himself drink his coconut water as he walks past the giant row of reflective glass windows that line the store.  The same guy who thinks he’s the wild one Sia is referring to in her featured single “Wild Ones” with Flo Rida, to which this hipster-professional secretly rejoices listening when it ironically sneaks some playtime amongst a playlist of more alternative tracks.

“Now, why Matt, why go after the hipster-professional?” Continue reading