Honey, Don’t Forget the Chains…

Get ready for a kinky generation of women, Comonation.

It seems that as history runs its course, the misinformed, hormonally-imbalanced young women of America seek ways to push the boundaries farther and farther into what is seen as “taboo” to experience a thrill and the high that comes with it. Gone are the days of the 50’s where buying a girl a cream soda at a burger joint and sharing it in your cotton-candy colored convertible was considered a pretty saucy move, one she would gush about to her friends later back home (I picture all cars in the 50’s to be either pink or light blue steel-chasse convertibles or muscle cars.)

At around the same time, smoking became the symbol of the rebellious, bold man, and he was the one the ladies were after. “He looks so deep in thought over there smoking that Lucky Strike, I wonder what his story is…” Bang. Done deal. Her heart is already melting, because all the other guys she’s talked to never inhaled burning tobacco, and that’s just… hot. “Don’t ask me why. Yeah it smells nasty, but he doesn’t give a fuck. I love how he doesn’t give a fuck.” Continue reading


Quarter-life Crisis

I can’t believe I’m already 20. The teen years are gone and will never come back. Who am I? I should probably know by now but I don’t. The string of expectations this next decade is laying on me is a little overwhelming. In less than a year, I can drink alcohol legally. At 25, I can rent a car! A whole car! Oh joy! I’m not sure if I can handle this much responsibility, it’s all too much, too soon. Whatever happened to frolicking in the streets with friends when a fire hydrant burst in the middle of summer? That never happens by the way, only on TV. Continue reading

Corporate Cream

Cream – 1. The least offensive and calming color next to white that corporations use to decorate everything in order to keep it from being too bland 2. The result of letting a horribly uninteresting person decide what to paint every surface of an office

For the past few weeks, I have been immersed in corporate culture at a very large firm as a very lowly intern. The work itself is great, and I enjoy it, but it’s the setting that propels me to write some color commentary. Walking into this high rise every day is like leaving Earth for some hyper reality where all surfaces are white or some variation of cream and everyone dresses alike, looking as though they are talking to themselves while walking down the hallway with the smallest and latest Bluetooth headset seemingly surgically attached to their ear. Continue reading