Peeping Tom or: How I Learned to Stop Streaming and Love the Binoculars

People often talk about the “dangers of technology” and how the ever-advancing forms of science, knowledge, and machinery will ultimately doom modern-day society, our youth, and future generations. As an incredibly relevant, yet highly negligible example, please examine the accompanying screenshots, which illustrate how the latest version of Microsoft Word for Mac is dangerous beyond its own competence.

Obviously, this hyphenated or not-hyphenated (not to baby you, but… ironic, right?) dilemma isn’t a huge deal, but, rather, it’s something I needed to point out to further substantiate my point.  And, I fucking love hyphens, so I obviously had to keep “ever-advancing” hy-phen-ated.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that online pornography is incredibly damaging to society and our youth.

No, I don’t think pornography is degrading.  No, I don’t think it promotes abnormal and dangerous sexual behavior.  And, no, I don’t think it represents and encourages misjudgments of morality.

I do, however, think it makes its viewers selfish, lazy, and unmotivated.  In some way or another, you may already agree with this declaration, but allow me to really drive this one home and describe the matter so thoroughly that after you’ve finished reading this article, you’ll be ready to lead a group of mindless picketers through busy city streets screaming for an end of the online distribution of pornography… that is, strictly for the sake of protecting peoples’ sexual creativity and inventiveness, not because of any reasons such as immorality, degradation, or some other nonsense.

Alright, so, let’s dig deeper…

When was the last time you heard someone confidently talk about how he/she is a “peeping tom“?

After reflecting on that question, I guess I can admit that being a peeping tom has always been taboo, that it’s something in which I, for sure, have no desire taking part, and that it’s probably unrealistic to suggest peeping toms have ever been assuredly self-referential.

Still, though, is spying on people engaged in intimate behaviors a thing of the past, much like other lost hobbies such as flying kites, collecting coins, and building model train sets?  I mean, it definitely seems like no one has planned an elaborate scheme to peep on girls in locker rooms since Porky’s

No one has climbed a tree to spy on his/her high school crush since Back to the Future.

And, sure as hell, no one has waited in a closet watching a sociopath forcibly perform sadomasochistic acts on a nightclub singer since Blue Velvet.

These happy-go-lucky jaunts of the past, along with traditional voyeurism at its core just aren’t the same today due to technology and its societal influence.  Today, we have dumb fucks like Dharun Ravi who choose to manipulate the once virtuous practice of furtive sexual observation into cyber bullying, which, in this case, led to a closeted gay college student committing suicide.  That ain’t cool, Ravi, where’s your fucking decorum?

Just to clarify, I didn’t wake up today, check my extensive list of tasks and planned activities, and say to myself, “Oh, right, I better get on that blog post about peeping toms and porn and shit.”  Please don’t think that.

I’m expounding all this on you guys because I literally almost had a conniption just now after seeing some of the different searches that led people to our site.  Mind you, this below image lists just a few of the different keywords that led people to Como.  And also, please consider that the day isn’t over yet.

This is precisely why I turned my cell phone off and had the secretary here at Search for Como rearrange my calendar.  I’ve canceled extravagant brunches, court hearings, and baby showers so that I could devote the proper time to write about these overlooked dangers of the online pornographic world, just because of how direly important this is to me and how this information should be in everyone else’s best interests.

Yes, I canceled other peoples’ baby showers.  Those who would’ve attended were instructed to shift their attention towards the release of this incredibly momentous blog post.  As a secondary thought, I’m even hoping that one of the expecting mothers is so impacted by this writing that she decides to name her son/daughter after my favorite procreatively-minded, private investigator, Tom.

Okay, anyway, in regards to that list of keywords (again, the abridged version), seven of the eight are entirely sexual and, call me old-fashioned, but rather raunchy.  Seriously, though, thank you to those who legitimately searched for our site, but to, for example, the three people who were led to this blog after searching “daughter fucked by fathers”: shame on you.

Shame on you for visiting our site out of a confusion of interests.   Shame on you for thinking that a daughter could have multiple incestuous fathers.  And shame on you, the online pornographic distributors, for making material like this ubiquitously available and in such high demand.

Again, not that I think this type of material is degrading, dangerous, or immoral, but I do think it severely inhibits the development of individuals’ proactivity and actual initiative in regards to satisfying their yearnings of debauchery.  Whoever’s searching this, along with “s&m,” “modern orgies,” or even “whipping females” has obviously never gotten shit done on their own.  The Internet with its infinite realm of pornography has made it entirely too easy for people to merely find some sort of visual depiction of their sexual desires online, which they would’ve otherwise had to search out and/or organize.

That’s the problem with the technological advancements of pornography: no one’s going out there and making these fantasies happen anymore (neglecting the actors, directors, and casting agents of the adult film industry).  Online porn has made it so simple for people to find short clips of godknowswhat, as opposed to searching for it in person or even orchestrating similar practices or carrying them out themselves.  This whole culture of accessible, archived pornography has completely limited individuals’ sexual drives and the-once-interactive role played within undauntedly spirited sexual experiences.

Now, take this knowledge and apply yourself.  Get off the dirty sites and be somebody.

Next time you peer out towards your neighbor’s backyard and see a typically dull, empty sight like this…

…you’ll know you gotta make some calls and sell some lies in order to get that backyard looking like this:

Have those binoculars ready, scout everything out and then get out there like a real man.  You’ll need bath towels for this one, too.  Remember that.  No more hand towels… You’ve graduated, champ.  Congratulations.




Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s